The Enigma of "Nonself"

 

When you've seen beyond yourself then you will find peace of mind is waiting there./And the time will come when you see we're all One and life goes on within you and without you..."

--George Harrison

Nonself--or No-Self--is one of the most perplexing and enigmatic themes in Buddhist teachings. Most people initially see the concept of "no self" as utterly absurd: "Of course there is a self. Look in the mirror!"

And in fact, most of us are completely obsessed with ourselves, most of the time: "How do I look?" "Why am I so sad today?" "I wish I were..." "I want that..." "I remember..." "Why am I so...?" and so forth. Such thoughts seem to swarm into our mindstream nonstop--except during those rare moments when we are "in the zone," completely absorbed with a present task: a musician playing a solo, a dancer doing a pirouette,  an eye surgeon operating on a patient,  a baseball player at bat. At such moments,  self-awareness can become a hindrance, or even a danger. But at most other times, our "selves" are often our constant obsession. How could there possibly be "no self"?

This obsessive sense of self that we carry around with us behind our eyes most likely has deep biological roots.  Every living organism, after all--from single-celled all the way up to the most complex multicellular being (such as us)--depends for its survival on maintaining a permeable membrane between itself and the world, to protect its own complex and delicate cellular or organic systems from threats to its survival, while letting in essential forms of sustenance (water, oxygen, carbon, solar energy converted into edible biomass), and also processing information about the world around them: edibles, water sources, potential mates, rivals, young, nesting materials or hiding places, and threats from predators. With the evolution of language in humans, this well-developed instinct for survival and propagation that is essential for all living organisms was reified in our linguistic head space as the concept of "me." So what is wrong with that? 

Nothing is "wrong" with it, per se--especially if it is just a survival instinct reified in our minds as a sense of "self." We are, after all, animals, who like all others, must eat safe food, breathe good air, drink potable water, take shelter, find mates, raise children,  and make decisions on our own behalf in order to survive. But the Buddha (and many other sages as well), through intense and prolonged meditation and introspection, discovered that this "self" we all cherish has no objective reality at all--it is simply a mental formation, like a moire pattern in an ongoing flux of matter, energy, and information within us and without us.

"But if this were true, we'd all be the same.  But I'm unique!"  We all think so. But how unique are we, really? On one hand, we are unique in the sense that each of us has a unique genotype, derived from both our parents' chromosomes, and thereafter our personalities are shaped, uniquely, by the interaction of our genetic predispositions and our personal experiences. But despite these differences, we are made of exactly the same basic stuff, both physically and emotionally, and this commonality enables us to empathize, both with those close to us, and with complete strangers, and with other animals as well. 

At a deeper level, of course, we all share the same basic genetic machinery as all other living organisms--the self-replicating interaction of DNA, RNA, and protein molecules. In this respect, we are "the same" as bacteria, protists, fungi, plants, and all other animals. Deeper still, we are all made out of ever-changing combinations of the same 100-odd basic elements (118 at last count, though approximately 20% of these are synthetic). And deepest of all (perhaps) we may all be nothing but vibrating strings of pure information...

So this is how I have come to understand this counterintuitive notion of "nonself." Not that "you and I don't exist," but rather, that you and I (and everyone and everything else) exist (temporarily) only because of ongoing interaction and interrelation with everyone and everything else in the universe. Or, as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. put it, "we are caught in an "inescapable network of mutuality" where "whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. ".  And just as every snowflake is different but they are all hexagonal because they are fractal expressions of the H2O molecule, so we are likewise all different, yet the same, as expressions one particular genotype that makes us human, differentiating us from other animals. Yet at the same time, we and all other animals, plants, fungi, protists, and bacteria are variations on a theme of the self-replicating interaction of DNA, RNA, and Protein--another moire pattern, made possible by the far larger moire patterns of matter/energy that have manifested, since the primordial event of the "big bang," as stars, galaxies, supernovas, planets, and black holes...